i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
smell my finger.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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