I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
