I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
