The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We left the knife in your bed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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