we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
