I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
