i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I will be naked everywhere
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Go christen that room with your naked body.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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