I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
