You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
