if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
