Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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