I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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