is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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