Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
