So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
