the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
