Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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