If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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