The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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