He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
