There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
