He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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