Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Damn victory sex feels great
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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