did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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