is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Less talking, more tequila
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
