i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
