he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
