i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
