Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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