if i died would you start the facebook group?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
