So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
