Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
