We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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