i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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