You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
