You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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