what day is it and did you see me today?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
