would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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