I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
