you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
