is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
