I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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