FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
