Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
