My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
