y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
