dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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