why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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