My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
