google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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