great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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