dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
